Random Thoughts To End 2017
Well, another year is almost gone. Us Fibromites still don't have a cure. There still isn't enough research. There isn't enough funding for research. All we can do, is continue to educate and advocate until all of the above changes. Like I always say, the more people that know the truth about what all we have to suffer with on the daily, the easier it will be to one day have enough funding. If the wealthy, companies, and corporations don't fully understand how horrific this illness can be, then they won't be as inclined to donate towards the research.
An apology for my absence most of this year, is needed. I have to thank a friend of mine for kicking me in the butt, to get me back to blogging again. I really don't have an excuse for my absence. I think I was just kind of burned out and depressed. I had thoughts of "what does it matter", "who really reads this junk anyway", and had received some messages from crazies slamming and blasting me. In the long run, I've received way, WAY more messages from my fellow Froggies, thanking me and telling me how much I've helped them. For those messages, I'm grateful and appreciative.
My main message for this entry (besides being a voice for us with fibro and other chronic illnesses, of course!) is to be kind to people. No matter how we're feeling, we should always be kind to others. People we just pass on the street, people online ...on fb, or in a group, twitter, as well as our neighbor or the childhood schoolmate we only see once in awhile. None of us, no matter how well we think we know someone, doesn't always know everything that person is going through.
I'll give you a couple of examples. This holiday season has been hard for me. It's the first time I've lived in this house alone, over the holidays. I like to be a social person, so for me, this is really hard. My Christmas tree broke last year and I had to throw it away. -I can't have a real tree, because I'm allergic to them. I didn't even bother to get another tree, thinking "Well, I'm here alone anyway so what's the point". You all were here on the blog with me through my marriage ending almost 6 years ago. I've remained single all of that time. None of my "babies" live at home anymore. No real point in really decorating this year. I DID borrow a small tabletop tree from my mom though, and decorated my big 6-person dining room table. Because let's face it, those 6 chairs and that table aren't being used anyway. Someone giving me a simple smile or nod of the head in the grocery store, a complete stranger, makes my day. I've posted before about how I try to make a point to smile and say hi to at least one elderly person that's walking alone in a store because you never know how it may help them. Now, it helps me as well. It makes me happy and feel good.
The photo above, is of my oldest son and my youngest daughter. In a few months, he'll be deploying to Iraq, for the Army. He won't admit it, but I know that he has a lot of stress on him with knowing he'll be gone for a year. He'll be gone, yet he'll still have his house payment, truck payment, house & car insurance, etc to be paid back here at home. Worrying about him being in Iraq, is also a stressor for me, as well.
This is my youngest daughter again, with my dad. One of my favorite photos! My daughter, at the mere age of 22, has dealt with way more than she ever should have. Her fiance (now EX-fiance) had been mentally abusing her for almost 2 years. This is the same daughter that I've posted about having PCOS since she was 15. Just as depression is a co-morbidity of fibro, it's also a co-morbidity of PCOS. The mental abuse took it's toll until she spiraled into a deep depression where she didn't even want to live any more. Knowing she finally had to remove herself from the toxic situation for her own health, she left him just over a week ago. It wasn't as simple as that though. When she tried to leave, he physically abused her. Choking her, hitting her, stabbing her in the arm with a key, throwing her around the apartment and into things. I thank God that she was finally able to get away without broken bones or him causing death, even.
A stranger on the street would look at her as a beautiful, young, fun-loving girl. They wouldn't have any idea the emotional stress she's under at this point. There is just no way for us to gauge what's going on in someone else's life. You say "Oh well Mr So & So is just a grouchy old man" or "Man I can't stand that girl next door" but do you know why they may be grouchy or mean or defensive? You don't know what has happened in their past or may be happening on a daily basis to them right now. Instead of being mean about them, or ignoring them, or trash-talking them, try giving them a wave, or a smile, or a nod, or even a simple "hi".
It kills me to know what all my beautiful girl has endured. Always, always be kind. You may find yourself needing someone to be kind to you someday.
As you can see, I've been stressed from the day to day happenings in my life. We all know what stress does to us. -It's a trigger for a flare. I've been doing pretty good though despite everything. I've had a few pain flares, and lately I've been fighting an insomnia flare. All of this just makes me want to find that cure even more!
My final words for all of you this December are to have a safe, pain-free, Merry Christmas. To always take every opportunity to educate someone about the real life of having fibromyalgia, to advocate for research and a cure and finally the words you've heard 1,000,000X, my motto for this blog, .....Never give up HOPE!
Gentle Butterfly Hugs to Each of You!
